Schizolosophy

Schizolosophy

Deep revelations from the depths of Armando's mind labyrinth

Sometimes I feel like I'm the last sane person on earth. Other times I feel like I'm a squirrel... But a super squirrel of course, you'd have to be crazy to feel like a regular squirrel

Ever wonder why tomatoes aren't purple? Neither do I, that's crazy talk.

I was running through the prairie with her, two dwarfs covered in cotton balls, a sack of spatulas and a shaved mule. Then we ran into her father and that's when things got weird.

Is the cat missing? I don't know, but this chicken tastes different today.

If god gives you lemons, he's probably drunk.

Why do we always wonder who let the cat out of the bag? I'm more concerned with whoever is putting cats in bags... There's a serial cat murderer out there and no one seems to care.

I think a good prank to play on your kids is to pretend you're dead. The first few times they'll cry but eventually they'll catch on. That way, the time you don't wake up, they'll just laugh it up and go about their lives.

If I ever became a dictator, I would be a super nice dictator... And you better agree, or else...

Women, you can't live with them and you can't live with them.

If you read this sentence then you've read this sentence.

I think if someone tells you they're paranoid, a fun thing to say is "I don't care what everyone says, you do deserve to live," then walk away

I wanna start a group of nonconformists... We can have a uniform and everything!

My psychologist told me to dig deep in my mind for the truth. I told him to go first and I helped. Two bloody shovels later, I was arrested for murder.

When a bear is running at me really fast I never play dead. I act dead. It seems too serious a situation to be playing around...  

My Dad used to always beat my mother, every day. She would cry herself to sleep. Finally we switched to monopoly... she was MUCH better at that.